Some Food for Thought

So, today has been a day of food for thought.

First off, Brandt's therapy. Because the life of a teacher is so busy, the physical therapist does sessions with him at the daycare. Every once in a while, she will come over to the house on a Saturday, but that is a rare occasion. In order for us to have good communication, she writes notes after each session in a small journal that travels in Brandt's lunchbox. Today, as I was reading the notes, I thought: "I wonder what people would think if I would've blogged the therapist's notes from each session? Would they feel sorry for him the way that I do?" It was a momentary lapse of thought to think that, but sometimes the notes are just a little hard to swallow. As I read the journal, she indicated Brandt's desire to want to walk like the rest of the toddlers in his class, and she, time and time again, has indicated how unhappy he is that he can't do some of things that others can do. It makes me sad. That is just one of those things that you don't want to hear. You never want your kid to be or feel less than their peers. Then, she continues to go over their therapy session, indicating the use of a Posterior Walker. A posterior walker is a metal-framed walker that opens in the front to allow him to walk freely while making him control his body more from falling forward. She said that he was able to maneuver around, but that his trunk was very wobbly. And, even though I know that this devise is used as a tool to help him strength, I hate hearing that he has to use a walker. It's just not a joyous thing.

And, then, to make a great day even better. I was looking at symptoms of Autism (not for Brandt) when I came across M-CHAT (Modified Checklist for Autism in Toddlers. I thought, no way Brandt is autistic, but then I thought, well, let me just see (thinking it would give me reassurance). As I was answering the questions, I was thinking "yes, he is doing so much better than I expected, thank goodness, he can do that, he does that, oh good...." I got to the 23rd and final question, I felt relief and pride in my answers. I hit submit... and then reality made me sink. It stated: "this score indicates that your toddler may be at elevated risk for a developmental disorder such as autism." It was like a huge slap in the face--I seriously thought he had done so well. How could this be? But, to be honest, I do not accept this, and I am not going to "seek further medical evaluation" because I think that this survey is a crock of #$&!^%$%. But, it was interesting to say the least. Just a little food for thought in the future, but certainly nothing I am going to be following through with at this time.

With all of this food for thought, we shall never starve!