Time to Rebuild

I saw this on a friend's Facebook page, and I thought there was no other way I could say it better:

"A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him. "I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will." Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?" "All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say. The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?" God said, "When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly. I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed." "You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides." "

Reading this post nearly reduced me to tears, hanging onto and feeling every word and every emotion that goes into being a woman, a mother, and a wife.

Our little family has been through a lot over the past 16 months. We have had many highs and lows and things have not always been easy. Yet, we have always managed to press forward. There were points where I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world alone, and points where Darrin and I would go days without anything nice to say to each other. And, yet, despite our differences, we have been each other's best ally. But, perhaps, in the 16 months of Battling for Brandt, we found ourselves a little lost and distant. Perhaps, some of the words spoken should have went unsaid. Perhaps, it is time to move forward and focus on more of the highs and start re-building the bond that brought us together. Perhaps it is time to start over new. I just hope that we both have it in us to do it together...



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Some Food for Thought

So, today has been a day of food for thought.

First off, Brandt's therapy. Because the life of a teacher is so busy, the physical therapist does sessions with him at the daycare. Every once in a while, she will come over to the house on a Saturday, but that is a rare occasion. In order for us to have good communication, she writes notes after each session in a small journal that travels in Brandt's lunchbox. Today, as I was reading the notes, I thought: "I wonder what people would think if I would've blogged the therapist's notes from each session? Would they feel sorry for him the way that I do?" It was a momentary lapse of thought to think that, but sometimes the notes are just a little hard to swallow. As I read the journal, she indicated Brandt's desire to want to walk like the rest of the toddlers in his class, and she, time and time again, has indicated how unhappy he is that he can't do some of things that others can do. It makes me sad. That is just one of those things that you don't want to hear. You never want your kid to be or feel less than their peers. Then, she continues to go over their therapy session, indicating the use of a Posterior Walker. A posterior walker is a metal-framed walker that opens in the front to allow him to walk freely while making him control his body more from falling forward. She said that he was able to maneuver around, but that his trunk was very wobbly. And, even though I know that this devise is used as a tool to help him strength, I hate hearing that he has to use a walker. It's just not a joyous thing.

And, then, to make a great day even better. I was looking at symptoms of Autism (not for Brandt) when I came across M-CHAT (Modified Checklist for Autism in Toddlers. I thought, no way Brandt is autistic, but then I thought, well, let me just see (thinking it would give me reassurance). As I was answering the questions, I was thinking "yes, he is doing so much better than I expected, thank goodness, he can do that, he does that, oh good...." I got to the 23rd and final question, I felt relief and pride in my answers. I hit submit... and then reality made me sink. It stated: "this score indicates that your toddler may be at elevated risk for a developmental disorder such as autism." It was like a huge slap in the face--I seriously thought he had done so well. How could this be? But, to be honest, I do not accept this, and I am not going to "seek further medical evaluation" because I think that this survey is a crock of #$&!^%$%. But, it was interesting to say the least. Just a little food for thought in the future, but certainly nothing I am going to be following through with at this time.

With all of this food for thought, we shall never starve!

Another Day in the Life

Today was another trip down to Miami Children's Hospital. I was dreading the trip so badly because it is such a long drive--3 hours--just to check Brandt's ear tubes and do some blood work. I had some genetic labwork ordered back in July that no local diagnostic center or hospital would do, so Miami Children's was my only way of getting it done. I felt like such a bad mom that I had held on to it so long, which made today's trip a bit of a relief.

Because I needed an appointment on a non-school day, I ended up with an appointment at 8:30am. Factor in a three hour drive, needing to stop for gas, and hitting Miami just in time for rush hour traffic, we decided to leave at 5:15am. Luckily, God was on our side and we ended up in Miami at 7:30.

Out first thought was that maybe no one would be in Patient Access for labwork yet since most of the doctor's offices weren't open for the day yet. We thought one hour should be perfect to get in and get out. It was too perfect that we were there with the perfect amount of time to get the labs done before Brandt's ENT appointment. So, we checked in with security and went straight over to Paetient Access. We opened the doors and the room was filled. We thought surely all of these people weren't there for labwork, as this was also the waiting room for surgical and imaging procedures. We checked in and waited for registration to call us. 30 minutes later, we were finally called for registration. With time running out, I asked how long the expected wait time was, and she informed me that there were still six people in front of us. So, we sat and waited but time was not on our side. Finally, we told the receptionist that we had to leave for our appointment and would come back.

The appointment with the ENT was just a standard check-up. Not much to say, other than he told me to get rid of the pacifier--which he's been telling me for a long time, and I don't see him going without a pacifier at night for a long time. He also said for my husband to stop cranking the A/C down to 72, as this makes the nose run more and the adenoids enlarge and are not able to properly filter. So, that's a relief for me because I freeze at night. Return in 3 months--oh joy...

So we went back to Patient Access and informed them that we had returned, so they bumped us to the front of the line since they had already called us when we were out, which I thought was so fabulous of them. The lady grabbed our file and was gone for about fifteen minutes preparing before finally returning to get us. As I followed her down the hall, I realized that she was a familiar face. She was the same lady who had done our genetic labwork in the past--which wasn't the best of memories for me to recount to her. Still, as we walked in the room, she said that she remembered doing Brandt's blood work before--without me even saying anything to her! I was blown away--what the heck was it that made us so memorable for her over the thousands of people she had seen in the past six months?!?! She continued to recount that she remembered the difficult time she had finding his vein and that she remembered three other nurses having to come in and hold him down. She remembered that we had a very specialized genetic lab order, and she was spot-on in her memories, but I could not help but wonder if there was something else that happened during that visit that made her remember us. Guess I'll have to go back and check that blog for any indication (Blog: Welcome to Miami, Bienvenido a Miami)!

I will say that this time, she did get his vein on the first try--thank goodness. However, it is good that I am so aware of Brandt's testing because as I was counting the ten tubes she had pulled out, I questioned why so many for only the two things that were being tested . She showed me the orders, and I told her that it was only supposed to be the two highlighted, as I had indicated to registration, because we had already done the rest at a local lab. Glad I caught that--poor baby just gave five tubes on Saturday for liver function tests. After catching that mix-up, he did four tubes today. And I know he has a follow-up labwork to retest for the effectiveness of his prevnor vaccine coming up again pretty soon.

All was done by 10am, and we hit the long road home. Thankfully, we were back home before 1pm, which gave me time to be a mom. I love it when I have time to just play and laugh and do whatever else without having to worry about doctors or medicine or breathing treatments. We had such a blast, and it was so nice to really see how much he is learning and strengthening. He is walking across the room now (although, a lot of wobbling), and he can even stand up without pulling up (sometimes). He plays patty cake and pats his hand over his mouth (like he's making little Indian calls)! I love my little munchkin!

Confusing Answers

Dear Faithful Followers;

It has been a crazy ride over the past eight months as we have searched for answers for our son, Brandt. But, here, you've joined us, patiently waiting for the roller coaster ride to end all roller coaster rides--Brandt's MRIs. The results are in, so hop aboard, and join in this terrifying thrill ride. But, buckle up because there are many crazy turns ahead--brace yourselves!

First off, let me give all parents going through similar testing two tips.
1.) Your doctor will schedule a follow up visit a few days after any procedure to go over results. What they will not tell you, however, is that you don't have to wait for them to get your results. You can obtain your own copy of the results within twenty-four hours of being completed. Go to the records department of the testing facility. You (and your insurance company) paid for the testing so the facility is required to supply you with any and all results.
2.) Do not try to interpret the results or drive yourself crazy researching on the Internet. You are not a doctor, and you will only make yourself more concerned! Call the ordering doctor if you have results stating any abnormalities. If you tell them you are aware that the testing indicated abnormalities, they can explain the results to you over the phone.

That being said: keep your arms, hands, and feet in the cart at all times and enjoy the ride!

The day after testing was complete, Darrin went over to St. Mary's Hospital to obtain a copy of the radiologist's report. The findings of the MRI immediately sent Darrin into a whirlwind of emotions. Although much of the report is in scientific gibberish, there is no misunderstanding what "abnormality" means. He immediately went to the Internet to find answers to what the terms meant, and then he called me. Darrin quickly reported the results. He voice was loud, and his speaking rate was increased. He studdered as he uttered out that the MRIs showed two collapsed lungs and an enlarged liver.

I was just about to pick my students from PE when I got his call, yet I could barely stand. As the kids shuffled out, everything around me began to spin. I could barely breath, couldn't speak, couldn't move. My eyes met another teachers, and I know she instantly knew what I was thinking and feeling. A student called my name, and I took a deep breath and snapped back into teacher mode. But, how could I be in teacher mode when my mommy-heart was bleeding? Another slow, deep breath. I put on my game face and pressed on as best as I could.

Finally, I got a brake and called the neurologist. The nurse triage said she'd forward the results to the doctor and have him call me back. Hours went by and I heard nothing.

In the meantime, Darrin, who had also spoken with the neurologist's office, faxed over the results to the pediatrician's office. The pediatrician called back to go over the findings. He said the lungs were typical because of anesthesia. And, he believed that the liver enlargement could be caused by the iron supplement that Brandt had been taking for his anemia over the past five months. The pediatrician said he'd like to feel Brandt's abdomen for abnormalities in the liver. So Darrin scheduled an appointment for Thursday.

After not hearing from the neurologist for hours, I called back but nurse triage was unavailable so I left a voicemail. Five o'clock came and went, and I decided that I wouldn't be hearing from the neurologist until Monday as the weekend was already upon us. I'm not going to lie--I was mad about that.

Darrin came home at 7:15 and handed me a copy of the report. No sooner did I finish reading the medical jargon then I got a call from a private number. It was the neurologist. Freaking finally! He started by asking me who told me that Brandt had collapsed lungs----Darrin. He asked where Darrin got that from, which clearly was from him researching the medical term from the report and adding his own interpretation of what he read. The doctor said the term Darrin was referring to (moderate atelectasis noted in both posterior lungs) simply means the lungs were not fully inflated, which is due to the anesthesia (confirming what the pediatrician said). The next part of the report says "liver looks mildly enlarged. Mild hepatomegaly may be present. Clinical correlation is suggested." The neurologist did not know where to go with this, as it was beyond his specialty. I explained to him that the geneticist ordered an abdominal ultrasound with attention to the liver a few months ago, but we had never had it done. (That was one of tests Darrin asked me to surrender.) The neurologist said he would consult the geneticist about the results and get back to me. He said he knew glycogen storage disease would affect the liver and that might be what the geneticist was looking for, but then he continued to explain that MRIs really aren't the best tool for measuring the liver anyway. He said it could be something, or it could be nothing. --Great, that really helps. Sigh.

But, since this roller coasted ride might be getting ready for a second round, I will end this on a happy note--the spine was dictated as "no significant abnormalities of the entire spine." Every ride must have a happy ending, if nothing else, then to get off the darn thing! Until next time thrill seekers!

Finally Behind Us--MRIs Done!

Thursday marked the end of a long line of frustration for our little family. After  five months of failed attempts at Brandt's MRIs, the procedure was successfully completed.

Because all of the marital strife and internal confusion, I did not tell my husband about the MRIs until 2 days before. Because last time Darrin just created more stress, I suggested that he consider staying home from the appointment. He agreed, and my mom quickly stepped up to fill in as my support system.

This time around, things went much more smoothly. There was no one to bump our table time , and no nasal drip to stop the MRIs midpoint. 

It was scary and completely different from before in that they would not permit me to stay in the imaging room with him since general anesthesia had to be administered. They did, however, allow me to carry him into the imaging room and to hold his hand while he was being put under. Gone was the day of peaceful oral sedation where he somberly fell asleep in my arms. This time was not that. It was not a peaceful moment; it was pure hell. Brandt was restrained and screaming from fear as they held the mask firmly over his face. And then he was out. They took the mask off his face and let me kiss him goodbye. His face was red and sweaty from the frustration of going down. My heart sank as I gave him a kiss and left the room.

Although I desperately wanted to stay glued to his side, it was far easier to wait in the cafeteria. Last time my eyes were fixed on the vitals monitor, my blood pressure was surging, and I jumped every time I heard a mysterious noise. Sipping a coke and poking at my yogurt while engaging in small talk kept me mindless of the happenings.

Two hours later, I was called into the recovery room. Brandt was still sleeping, but they wanted me to be there to comfort him when he awoke. It was not long after I sat down that he awoke. He was a little irritable and disoriented, but he seemed to be more peaceful than he was waking up from his ear tubes surgery at Miami Children's Hospital. He was really just frustrated about all of the cords, monitors, and IV that covered his body. Oh, and the fact that he was hungry.  He drank a cup of juice and quickly cheered up.

We were then reunited with my mom and moved to Phase II. There, they took his vitals and gave him another drink. Since he was eagerly taking down fluids, we were quickly given discharge instructions and sent on our way.

They warned me that Brandt would probably be groggy and want to sleep, but he was nothing of the such. They warned me that he would be uncoordinated, but he had more controlled movements than ever before. He was taking several steps unassisted and even getting to a standing position without having to pull up on things. It was one of the happiest moments of my life!

And so the waiting begins... Stay tuned for the results....

Just Want to do Right

In going into this adventure with Brandt, all I have ever wanted to do is just do what is right for him. Doing what is right has not as come easy.

Each doctor visit and procedure has come at a price.s first comes the marital strife it has caused because of four polar opposite opinions. then comes the dangers associated with each procedure. Believe Me, I make myself crazy weighing all of the pros and cons.

Brandt is scheduled for three MRIs of the spine today. Because we have attempted this procedure Nero and went through utter hell in the process, I have been having a hard time deciding if I really awaited to put Brandt through it again.

first of all, it is a draining day--both mentally and physically. The whole day with pre-op, the procedure, and recovery takes around 7 hours. That's 7 hrs of me rocking him, pacing up and down the hall with him, playing with anything we can find, and trying to keep him content when he is starving.

Last time, Brandt's respiration wasn't so good, and they only had him on a mild oral sedation. this time, they said he has to be under full general anesthesia because of his post nasal drip, which brings a whole other concern he'll be under for around 3 hrs, and he doesn't ever wake up too happy from sedatives.

Darrin had suggested that we wait three months and see if he is walking then, which would make Brandt 19months old. Although I never told me, I heavily considered it. The idea of having to do MRIs again at the hospital of hell was none too appealing for me, and I certainly  did not want to put Brandt under unnecessary risks. He is my world, and I hate ruining his. So, I tossed up the idea of waiting, and at one point that is what I had decided to do.

Still, the idea of something being wrong with Brandt and going undetected did not sit well with my mommy gut, so yesterday I decided to go forward with the MRIs. Even if he does walk in 3 months, that does not mean that he doesn't have a tethered cord or the more mild form of spina bifida--and I have a family history of spina bifida. So, while Darrin's idea of waiting was good in theory, Brandt walking wouldn't cancel out the possibility of having a spinal abnormality. and, if I as. Mother was the reason something went undetected, I would feel horrible. So, today 8 have to put on my big girl panties and be strong for my son.

The fact of the matter is, Brandt is 16months old, and just took his first three steps yesterday (before he tumpled down to the floor on his face!). There has to be something that is causing this delay. Clearly you can see I have a scientific line of thought. I would like to believe that his fat butt is just too heavy for him to balance yet, but I just don't know.

So, time to go pull out those big girl panties and get this day done with.

Denied and Speechless

This is just one day where I am absolutely speechless, so I am going to cut through all of the bull and straight to the facts.

I received a letter from my private insurance company in regards to Brandt. It read something like this:

"Dear Brandt Forman:
Blah, blah, blah... in the matter of request for coverage of speech and hearing therapy services, your request has been denied... blah, blah, blah... services not covered... blah, blah, blah... an underlying medical condition or injury must be diagnosed...blah, blah, blah... speech therapy for developmental delay is not covered... appeals process... blah, blah, freaking blah...
Sincerely, Cigna POS"

I find it funny that they will spend tens of thousands of dollars on genetic and neurological testing, but they won't authorize speech twice a month. That is pretty messed up.

I can't take two steps forward without being pushed five steps back.

Luckily, I have a level-headed and fully-educated friend to bounce ideas off of. She suggested I push for a diagnosis--even if I don't agree with it. Getting a diagnosis of "autism" would not make Brandt any less abled, but it would enable him to receive speech and hearing therapy services. Or, even if the pediatrician can give him some type of general medical diagnosis that is not otherwise specified, that might be enough to get him services. It is just so frustrating the hoops we have to jump through to get anywhere.

On a happier note, I am super-happy to have such great family and friends that I can bounce ideas off of and talk things through with when things get overwhelming. I am thankful to have met such helpful people who have directed my to all the right people who are "in the know." My emotions are all over the place these days, so it is nice to have such incredible people to keep me grounded!

Strength in Struggles

Today was a busy day--starting with the neurologist in the morning and ending with Early Steps in the afternoon. But, hey, it's just another day in the life of Brandt.

This morning, Brandt and I made the trip down the Loxahatchee to meet with the neurologist. Unfortunately, Darrin had work obligations and was unable to go.

The neurolgist reviewed all the recent testing ordered by himself and the geneticist, including the brain MRI and bloodwork. Thus far, everything has pretty much came back normal, other than some mild anemia, chronic otitis media, and environmental allergies--certainly nothing that would explain Brandt's delays. Last month, Brandt had an MRI of the brain. Because he was having respiratory difficulties, the testing had to be stopped two images short of completion. We were told those two sections of the brain--diffusion and fiesta--were very important parts of the brain. The neurologist, however, did not think that those were particularly important to Brandt's symptoms. So, yay, the brain MRI is normal and does not have to be done again!

After noting that everything thus far has been normal, he asked me what the geneticist thought might be the cause of Brandt's delays. I was speechless--the geneticist was leaning towards the neurologist's brain MRI for answers. Now, knowing that the MRI came back normal, it seems as if no one really has any direction or answers for us.

The neurologist noted that Brandt is close to the age when they begin to consider children for autism. He said indicators start to develop around Brandt's age, and he warned me of things to look out for. He said that Brandt does not seem to show many of the common signs, such as limited eye contact and anti-social behaviors. Still, Brandt's slow verbal and physical development might lead one in that direction. So, he said that we would give him a few months of monitoring before exploring that possibility.

And, then, came the toughest question: are the three spinal MRIs still necessary? I explained to the neurologist that Brandt is pulling up and cruising all over the place--he just doesn't have the core control or balance to walk yet. He examined Brandt's sacral dimple again (an indentation on the spinal cord around the toosh). He said, given that Brandt is not walking, he wanted to proceed with the MRIs. I then asked him to explain to me what he was looking. He explained that, obviously it would detect spina bifida, but it would also look for a more common condition, known as tethered spinal cord syndrome. He further explained how this would limit muscle control, despite strength, and could cause severe problems later in life. A tethered cord can be easily fixed with a few snips (yes, I know, surgery is not ever really "easy") and will prevent future complications. And, so, I accepted his rationale and got everything scheduled.

Later in the afternoon, Darrin and I met with Early Steps for our six month review. Our family service coordinator came out to our house, and we discussed some of Brandt's achievements, as well as areas where we wanted to focus more. I told her that I felt like we weren't doing enough for Brandt, and I told her that I would like Brandt to be receiving occupational therapy services, as well. She told me typically, Early Steps would wait until he was 20 months old, offering him time to "catch up." In the same breath, I quickly stepped in--stating that I'd rather narrow the gap now so that he'll hopefully not need services in the future. I then told her that I wanted to take the "early steps" now that are necessary to guarantee him a brighter future, which is what Early Steps program is all about.

The family service coordinator then handed me a 16mo Milestones questionnaire. In my head, I thought I might need to tank the test to make it work for us. Then, as I proceeded to read over each question, I felt compelled to boost his score because I was so shocked and saddened at how low he was scoring. Some of the questions seemed so far off for him, I felt like I was failing him as a mother. The questionnaire tested him on gross motor, fine motor, communication, social and problem-solving skills. Out of 60 possible in each area, Brandt scored 15, 15, 20, 45, and 40 respectively, with all scores below 35 being "at risk." I was a little taken back with all the things the questionnaire indicated he should be able to do that he couldn't. Still, I was okay because scoring low makes it easier for him to get more services.

We also discussed the desired outcomes that were written into our Family Services Plan back in March, as well as the lack of progress made towards those outcomes. We had two outcomes. 1) By 15 months, Brandt would be walking independently. 2) By 15 months, Brandt would be able to say 3-5 words. Neither of the outcomes were met, however, some of the smaller goals within the outcomes were met. Based on that, physical therapy will be continued at one time per week. Speech is now authorized for two times per month, and an order for an occupational therapy evaluation has been made.

I am satisfied with the new Family Service Plan for now--though I wish the frequency of therapy was more. At least we are moving forward in the right direction.

Then, reality sank in. I had to tell my husband about the spinal MRIs--the same MRIs that has had us going head to head for the past five months. And, just as predicted, telling him started world war III again. He is so against all of this testing, mainly because he is afraid of Brandt getting hurt in the process. And, I am strong-headed about doing whatever I need to do to offer Brandt the best possible outcome. And, if it is something that could be so simply corrected, why wouldn't I want to check for it?

But, now, I am stressing out, trying to figure out how Darrin and I are going to cope with the MRI process again. Last time, we nearly killed each other. Darrin was so mad and stubborn at the hospital that he was useless and just made things worse. And, I was so over-stressed that he was being so resilient that I put his parenting skills up for question. I often feel like I am battling for Brandt alone, and battling against Darrin makes it that much harder. I hate doing this alone, and I hate always having to have my guard up against my husband. I hate what this process has done to us as individuals and as a couple. It has torn us apart. Our strength as a couple depends on answers to start coming in. Just thinking about going through all of that again makes me want to fall to the floor in tears. Only, if I did, no one would be there to catch me--I'd be all by myself, as always. And, if I showed that moment of weakness, would I have the strength to pick myself back up and carry on? So, I must ask myself--how much more of this do I have the strength to carry alone?

One thing is for sure, there is an incredible amount of strength to be found in struggles!

Five Seconds of Hope

Even though the summer has ended, we are continuing to work with Brandt on our "Summer Skills" goals.

There has been moments of weakness when things have felt hopeless, when I have felt utterly exhausted, when I have been ready to just go forward without answers. And, just when I started to feel like the world was ending, Brandt finds a way to give me a burst of hope that keeps me pushing forward.

Last week, I was playing with Brandt as he was cruising along the table. I was playing with one of his favorite toys, and he started watching me with a perplexed look on his face. He was so mesmerized by what I was doing that he had no clue what he was doing--and for like FIVE SECONDS, he stood without holding onto anything! I suddenly became the happiest mom in the world as I signaled my husband and step-son to watch Brandt stand without any support. It was the longest five seconds of our lives--it all happened in slow motion--but I mean that in the best way possible. Months of tirelessly fighting had all come down to those five seconds of hope.

In the days that followed, I have noticed Brandt's core strength to continue. He no longer plops down to sit, but, rather, he sits down in a more controlled, slow, squat-to-sit motion. He can transition from cruising along to table, over to the couch, without having to throw himself forward into the couch. He can actually transition with his body upright and taking deliberate, calculated steps. While, I have not witnessed anymore standing without assistance instances, I can see that he is strengthening and moving in the right direction.

And, if that was not enough to give me hope--today Brandt popped out "Muh-muh!" Finally! He's said it a few times today, and it is music to my ears. I never appreciated his babbles so much.

Brandt's school teachers have been telling me that he has been gabbering more and more. They say that he has gotten more animated and aware over the past week, and I am definately seeing that translate into developments at home, too!

Certainly, him standing unassisted one time does not mean he is going to be walking tomorrow. And him adding another consonant to his vocabulary does not mean that he will be having conversations next week. The developements don't make everything perfect, and I don't want people to over-rejoice because there are still some hard facts that we face. Still, it does lighten the load. It does make things easier, and it does rejuvenate my faith!And, most importantly, it means that he does have to capacity to one day walk and talk--and I cannot wait for those days to arrive!

So, yes, this is one VERY HAPPY HOME this week! I just love my little Brandt Bear. He really knows when to give me a boost of strength and hope. Hopefully this is just the beginning of many more great things to come!