Today Brandt had his 18mo well-baby visit. And, yes, he is already 20 months, but somehow we missed scheduling it. So, better late than never! But, anywho, the appointment was both necessary and productive.
First off, there has been an issue that I thought important to address with the doctor. Brandt has been having about six bowel movements a day for the past six months--although some days as much as eight. And, I'm not talking formed, solid poop neither. These are very soft, loose bowel movements--you know, the gross kind that'll leak out the sides or run up the back if you don't get it changed right away. So, Darrin told the doctor. And, apparently, that is normal according to the doctor. And, even though the doctor says it is normal, I'm still not real confident with his opinion. It just seems like a lot of you-know-what to me!
But, onto better news... There have been some great shifts in Brandt's numbers. When Brandt was born, his head circumference was in the 40th percentile, which did understandably concern me. Over the past 20months, however, his brain has been doing some major growing, and he is now in the 89th percentile--talk about growth! Brandt's weight has seen some improvement, too. Having such a hearty appetite, I am proud to report that he actually went down from the 99th percentile. Brandt actually weighs nearly two pounds less than he did a few months back. And while weight loss in toddlers typically is not good, for Brandt it is. It is a sign that he is in an environment that encourages much more physical movement, and he is able to maneuver much more freely now. He is gaining more motor skills, and he is eager to use them. Brandt is now weighing 29.10lbs, and he has dropped down to the 91st percentile! Of course, he's always had some height, now standing at 34" tall in the 72nd percentile. He will be riding the coasters at Disney before I know it!
Of course, as is the story of my life, Brandt had the Hepatitis A vaccine today, and it didn't leave him feeling so well. Towards the end of the day, the babysitter texted me that he was running a fever and wasn't really eating. He was uncomfortable and had difficulty napping, too. I had Ibuprofen in the diaper bag for her to give to him, and that seemed to break the fever. I picked him up a Happy Meal for the ride home and he inhaled it, probably since the ibuprofen had just kicked in. He came home and played for a bit before the nightly bath and medicine routine. He nearly fell asleep during his breathing treatments at 6pm, but he did crash in my arms right after it was done. Poor guy. Hopefully we can both get a full night of sleep tonight and be feeling 110% tomorrow!
Friday, January 25, 2013
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Step in the Right Direction
I think working parents everywhere can relate to this.
There comes a point where the nightly routine becomes exhausting, or so rushed. It's work all day, and then the hustle all evening. For us, this means work til 4:00pm, pick up Brandt, home by 4:45, snack, two breathing treatments. Already 5:30pm. Bathe Brandt, cook dinner at 6:30, feed Brandt, eat cold dinner for myself after 7pm, Brandt's nightly oral medications, and put him to bed by 7:30. Then, it's time for me to shower, pack Brandt's bag for the next day, and make my lunch. Sit down around 8:30, maybe grade some papers or reply to some e-mails, turn on some TV, fall asleep on the couch, and REPEAT ALL OVER AGAIN until Friday.
And, I know I am not the only parent who has the night routine down to a science. Still, sometimes, you need a break from the routine. So, tonight I decided to just put Brandt in the shower with me. He had such a good time, and he did good with balancing on the slippery tile! He had a couple slips, but his protective reflexes were great. I am so proud what a big boy he has become!
And, speaking of big boy--Today Brandt did speech, and he did such a good job. The speech language pathologist worked with him on the words "milk" and "cookie." Brandt has such a difficult time verbally communicating his needs that he often throws temper tantrums. It is a nice step in the right direction if he can start to communicate to me these needs/wants, and today he was able to use those two words appropriately.
I am also so proud when I know he works so hard to gain a new skill. One proud momma today!
There comes a point where the nightly routine becomes exhausting, or so rushed. It's work all day, and then the hustle all evening. For us, this means work til 4:00pm, pick up Brandt, home by 4:45, snack, two breathing treatments. Already 5:30pm. Bathe Brandt, cook dinner at 6:30, feed Brandt, eat cold dinner for myself after 7pm, Brandt's nightly oral medications, and put him to bed by 7:30. Then, it's time for me to shower, pack Brandt's bag for the next day, and make my lunch. Sit down around 8:30, maybe grade some papers or reply to some e-mails, turn on some TV, fall asleep on the couch, and REPEAT ALL OVER AGAIN until Friday.
And, I know I am not the only parent who has the night routine down to a science. Still, sometimes, you need a break from the routine. So, tonight I decided to just put Brandt in the shower with me. He had such a good time, and he did good with balancing on the slippery tile! He had a couple slips, but his protective reflexes were great. I am so proud what a big boy he has become!
And, speaking of big boy--Today Brandt did speech, and he did such a good job. The speech language pathologist worked with him on the words "milk" and "cookie." Brandt has such a difficult time verbally communicating his needs that he often throws temper tantrums. It is a nice step in the right direction if he can start to communicate to me these needs/wants, and today he was able to use those two words appropriately.
I am also so proud when I know he works so hard to gain a new skill. One proud momma today!
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Paying for 2012
Well, 2012 was none too kind to us. Unfortunately, we will be paying for 2012 well into 2013.
2013 has greeted us with a series of medical bills and collection calls. But, to gain a true understanding of just how hard 2012 impacted us, you have to see it from a financial standpoint.
In 2012, Brandt had
49 Doctor's Appointments,
8 Outpatient Procedures,
10 Emergency Room Visits,
14 Lab Workups with close to 50 different tests
3 Days Impatient Hospitalization, and
65 Prescriptions Filled
Bills totaled: $146,145.00
Insurance paid: $52,954.29
Out-of-Pocket Expenses: $6,200.97
Oh, but wait, that does not include travel expenses.
We have spent approximately
$700 on gas
$150 on 1 night hotel stay
$500 on food
$540 in lost wages
So, now we are looking at closer to $8,090. Let's not forget that all of those are Brandt's bills ONLY. We had an additional $1,953.70 in out-of-pocket expenses for the rest of our household. So, in 2012, we got hit with a grand total of $10,043.70. That is an average of $836.98 in out-of-pocket medical expenses per month. And, who budgets for that?!? Yikes!
I never mention the financial end of Brandt because I know that we are fortunate that it is not worse. I know it could be much worse. And, it just doesn't matter. He's my kid, and I will do everything for him that he needs. Money should never be a factor in his care. You do what you have to do, and you find a way to make it all happen. I wouldn't even bother mentioning it now, but it has become a very consuming part of my life in recent weeks, and it is an honest component in the journey of raising a child with special needs.
We generally tackle each bill as they come, either before the procedure or at the time of the visit. However, sometimes we have to wait for hospitals to submit the bills to the insurance company, and wait for our portion to be assessed.
And, so, after the waiting process, we got hit with a very rotten situation where the insurance company was not covering the ER physician's bills for three separate visits--hitting us with $1,180.56. Apparently, the ER physician was out-of-network, despite the fact that Brandt went to an in-network hospital. Go figure. I've been going round-and-round with the insurance company for two weeks. Despite the fact that the physician's medical biller told me they would put the account of a 60 day hold, that did not stop them from sending us into collections. And, at the same time, I got billed $528.75 for Brandt's hospitalization and ambulatory transportation from when he had pneumonia; it was an expected bill but bad timing. So, I have close to $2k in outstanding medical bills.
Ordinarily, this would not phase me. I am a logical problem-solver, and I always find a way to work things out. But, it really is a matter of poor timing. All of this hit at the same time as the passing of Darrin's mom. Due to unfortunate circumstances, she did not have any insurance and we were left covering half of the funeral expense. Coping with the financial and emotional responses to this have been overwhelming.
And then, BAM, we get smacked with an on-slot of medical bills and collection calls.
And, as if that is not enough, suddenly everyone around me is trying to play doctor and tell me what is wrong with Brandt. Part of me feels like it is really not their place to give opinions or size-up my kid, while the other part of me thinks I need to be more receptive to people's thoughts to better guide the medical decisions and care that I choose. Yet, it is hard to hear--no matter how many times I hear it. And, unless you have a special needs child, you will never truly understand the depth of pain you feel for your child when words like that are uttered. Heart racing, face flushed, palms sweaty, exhausted, drained, weakened, defeated, back against the wall.... Like someone beat me up and left me for dead--heart ripped out and stomped on. It truly is an indescribable feeling. He is my precious boy and that is all that matters. And, I can't even get into the details as to what exactly was said because it hurt that much, and I just can't relive it today.
And, so, all I want to do is lock myself in a room. No lights. No noise. No one around. And fall to my knees. Back against the wall. And just pray.
And, maybe this is the time when I need prayer the most.
Dear God, Help us find faith to sort through the things we can't make sense of or understand. Help us find comfort in knowing that you have taken a good one and given her comfort. Help us find strength to keep pushing forward. Help us to find a way out of the darkness and back into light. Give us endurance and guidance to see what is best, and cast away our fears of uncertainty and judgement. In you we trust. Forever and Always. Amen.
2013 has greeted us with a series of medical bills and collection calls. But, to gain a true understanding of just how hard 2012 impacted us, you have to see it from a financial standpoint.
In 2012, Brandt had
49 Doctor's Appointments,
8 Outpatient Procedures,
10 Emergency Room Visits,
14 Lab Workups with close to 50 different tests
3 Days Impatient Hospitalization, and
65 Prescriptions Filled
Bills totaled: $146,145.00
Insurance paid: $52,954.29
Out-of-Pocket Expenses: $6,200.97
Oh, but wait, that does not include travel expenses.
We have spent approximately
$700 on gas
$150 on 1 night hotel stay
$500 on food
$540 in lost wages
So, now we are looking at closer to $8,090. Let's not forget that all of those are Brandt's bills ONLY. We had an additional $1,953.70 in out-of-pocket expenses for the rest of our household. So, in 2012, we got hit with a grand total of $10,043.70. That is an average of $836.98 in out-of-pocket medical expenses per month. And, who budgets for that?!? Yikes!
I never mention the financial end of Brandt because I know that we are fortunate that it is not worse. I know it could be much worse. And, it just doesn't matter. He's my kid, and I will do everything for him that he needs. Money should never be a factor in his care. You do what you have to do, and you find a way to make it all happen. I wouldn't even bother mentioning it now, but it has become a very consuming part of my life in recent weeks, and it is an honest component in the journey of raising a child with special needs.
We generally tackle each bill as they come, either before the procedure or at the time of the visit. However, sometimes we have to wait for hospitals to submit the bills to the insurance company, and wait for our portion to be assessed.
And, so, after the waiting process, we got hit with a very rotten situation where the insurance company was not covering the ER physician's bills for three separate visits--hitting us with $1,180.56. Apparently, the ER physician was out-of-network, despite the fact that Brandt went to an in-network hospital. Go figure. I've been going round-and-round with the insurance company for two weeks. Despite the fact that the physician's medical biller told me they would put the account of a 60 day hold, that did not stop them from sending us into collections. And, at the same time, I got billed $528.75 for Brandt's hospitalization and ambulatory transportation from when he had pneumonia; it was an expected bill but bad timing. So, I have close to $2k in outstanding medical bills.
Ordinarily, this would not phase me. I am a logical problem-solver, and I always find a way to work things out. But, it really is a matter of poor timing. All of this hit at the same time as the passing of Darrin's mom. Due to unfortunate circumstances, she did not have any insurance and we were left covering half of the funeral expense. Coping with the financial and emotional responses to this have been overwhelming.
And then, BAM, we get smacked with an on-slot of medical bills and collection calls.
And, as if that is not enough, suddenly everyone around me is trying to play doctor and tell me what is wrong with Brandt. Part of me feels like it is really not their place to give opinions or size-up my kid, while the other part of me thinks I need to be more receptive to people's thoughts to better guide the medical decisions and care that I choose. Yet, it is hard to hear--no matter how many times I hear it. And, unless you have a special needs child, you will never truly understand the depth of pain you feel for your child when words like that are uttered. Heart racing, face flushed, palms sweaty, exhausted, drained, weakened, defeated, back against the wall.... Like someone beat me up and left me for dead--heart ripped out and stomped on. It truly is an indescribable feeling. He is my precious boy and that is all that matters. And, I can't even get into the details as to what exactly was said because it hurt that much, and I just can't relive it today.
And, so, all I want to do is lock myself in a room. No lights. No noise. No one around. And fall to my knees. Back against the wall. And just pray.
And, maybe this is the time when I need prayer the most.
Dear God, Help us find faith to sort through the things we can't make sense of or understand. Help us find comfort in knowing that you have taken a good one and given her comfort. Help us find strength to keep pushing forward. Help us to find a way out of the darkness and back into light. Give us endurance and guidance to see what is best, and cast away our fears of uncertainty and judgement. In you we trust. Forever and Always. Amen.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Off to a Good Start
2013 is already off to a great start!
Wednesday, we headed down to Boynton for Brandt's post-op appt. Everything seems to be healing quite nicely, though he's going to have two sizable scars. The doctor did mention to us that we needed to watch the little bubble he has at the end of his upper incision. The bubble is where the doctor tied the knot on Brandt's internal stitches, and it should go away, but if it starts to enlarge or discharge a fluid he would need an antibiotic. Of course, we do not anticipate this to be an issue, but we will continue to monitor. Brandt still has one more week of restrictions--and it can't come quick enough as he is in this crazy climbing phase! He will have to return to the pediatric urologist in three months, at which time they will better be able to determine if he lost function on that side--something I still can't believe that we have to think about at this age. Either way, the other side still functions normally so he should have a productive future! ;)
After returning from Boynton, Brandt got a quick bite of lunch before speech. Ms. Jo was able to come out to my house, since I was home for winter break. Ms. Jo started out be commending my new choice in childcare and complimenting my sitter. It made me feel good that she feels this is a better environment for Brandt. I definitely value the opinions of both Brandt's therapists because they see him interact in the environment, whereas I merely pickup and drop off. So, it was nice to hear that she feels so confident in our sitter, as we are as well.
And, so began therapy. It is always nice when I can sit in on a session so I can learn new activities to do with Brandt that will better enrich his language acquisition. Certainly, therapy is a key element in his development--but it is not a cure-all. Therapy is only one hour a week. If I am not reinforcing Ms. Jo's skills with continued practice, therapy would be useless. Early Steps is all about reinforcing skills in the natural environment, and I want to make sure I am always doing my part. So, I was able to observe some of her current techniques, address some of my concerns, and highlight some of Brandt's growth.
That last thought deserves it's own paragraph!
I am proud to report that Brandt is doing amazingly! He is acquiring new language skills every day, and he is so eager to learn new things. He loves books, and he constantly points to pictures in his book and shouts "ma ma," so as to ask what the picture is. He really wants to know what he is looking at and what the characters are doing. And, we have been working on our animal sounds--he can identify the noises of a dog, cow, and lion with an "woof, woof," "moooo," and "roarrrr!" It is so stinking cute! He can identify nose, belly button, hair, and ears. He is even picking up even more simple commands by putting trash in the garbage, placing dirty clothes in the washer, and placing dirty dishes in the sink. He loves to help shut doors and close the dishwasher. He will even alert me by screaming "doo doo" if the dog has an accident--which is just hilarious! He is such a little sponge, and I plan to fill him with knowledge to soak up!
Here is to a fresh start with better to come in 2013!
Wednesday, we headed down to Boynton for Brandt's post-op appt. Everything seems to be healing quite nicely, though he's going to have two sizable scars. The doctor did mention to us that we needed to watch the little bubble he has at the end of his upper incision. The bubble is where the doctor tied the knot on Brandt's internal stitches, and it should go away, but if it starts to enlarge or discharge a fluid he would need an antibiotic. Of course, we do not anticipate this to be an issue, but we will continue to monitor. Brandt still has one more week of restrictions--and it can't come quick enough as he is in this crazy climbing phase! He will have to return to the pediatric urologist in three months, at which time they will better be able to determine if he lost function on that side--something I still can't believe that we have to think about at this age. Either way, the other side still functions normally so he should have a productive future! ;)
After returning from Boynton, Brandt got a quick bite of lunch before speech. Ms. Jo was able to come out to my house, since I was home for winter break. Ms. Jo started out be commending my new choice in childcare and complimenting my sitter. It made me feel good that she feels this is a better environment for Brandt. I definitely value the opinions of both Brandt's therapists because they see him interact in the environment, whereas I merely pickup and drop off. So, it was nice to hear that she feels so confident in our sitter, as we are as well.
And, so began therapy. It is always nice when I can sit in on a session so I can learn new activities to do with Brandt that will better enrich his language acquisition. Certainly, therapy is a key element in his development--but it is not a cure-all. Therapy is only one hour a week. If I am not reinforcing Ms. Jo's skills with continued practice, therapy would be useless. Early Steps is all about reinforcing skills in the natural environment, and I want to make sure I am always doing my part. So, I was able to observe some of her current techniques, address some of my concerns, and highlight some of Brandt's growth.
That last thought deserves it's own paragraph!
I am proud to report that Brandt is doing amazingly! He is acquiring new language skills every day, and he is so eager to learn new things. He loves books, and he constantly points to pictures in his book and shouts "ma ma," so as to ask what the picture is. He really wants to know what he is looking at and what the characters are doing. And, we have been working on our animal sounds--he can identify the noises of a dog, cow, and lion with an "woof, woof," "moooo," and "roarrrr!" It is so stinking cute! He can identify nose, belly button, hair, and ears. He is even picking up even more simple commands by putting trash in the garbage, placing dirty clothes in the washer, and placing dirty dishes in the sink. He loves to help shut doors and close the dishwasher. He will even alert me by screaming "doo doo" if the dog has an accident--which is just hilarious! He is such a little sponge, and I plan to fill him with knowledge to soak up!
Here is to a fresh start with better to come in 2013!
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