Shattered Joy

There are days when I am overjoyed to be Brandt's mom, days when I wish time could just stand still, when I want to cherish every last minute with my little boy.

With the start of Thanksgiving break, we hit the ground running with memorable moments. We spent countless hours at the park, playing outside, and riding the bike--things we usually can't do because he is sick. It felt so nice to be carefree and let loose. We read book after book and played with every toy imaginable. We made giant messes and didn't even think of cleaning up. He was smiling, laughing, gabbering--nonstop.

In fact, the gabbering has become more frequent over the past few weeks, and the gibberish is turning into precious words of hope. He says:
Dada
Mama
Uh oh
Duh-- dog
Doe--door
Shu--shoe or sock (LOL)
Nigh-Nigh-- night night
Yea--yes
Nuh--no
Moe--more
Jew--juice
Me--milk
You--yucky

With each word he has said, I have been ecstatic! He even responds to simple commands and questions like:
Let's go get a bath/ brush teeth/ get clean diaper/ get drink/ take medicine / sit in chair. Did you go poo-poo/ pee-pee? Do you want a snack/ a drink/ go night-night?

He's so stinking smart, and so darn cute! I've loved every minute of the break with him, and he has amazed me with his all-of-the-sudden vocabulary and direction.

That is, until therapy brought me back down to reality. Today was my first time to meet the speech therapist in person, and it was Brandt's third session with her. The therapist stated that those little jewels, which I call words, are merely approximations. And, while that is great, we need to focus on getting full words. But, in order to get full words, Brandt has to imitate sounds--something your average baby would start to do around 8months--which Brandt still does not do.

The therapist has also been using a oral sensory brush, which we've been doing at home too, but we're getting a lot of resistance from Brandt. And, for Brandt's biting difficulty, it was suggested that we consult a dentist about the alignment of his teeth and jaw--sure, I'll just add that to the list.

I'm not going to go into too much details on the rest of the speech therapy session, as the therapist just so happens to be close friends with one of my friends, but I will say that the session did not go so well and left Brandt very frustrated. I also hit a degree os setback, having confirmation of things I merely suspected. I hope Brandt can learn to warm up to her, and maybe he will be more receptive to when I am not present. She definately knows what she is doing and has a variety of techniques and great tools. Still, the whole session just really shattered my joy and left me feeling sunken and defeated. And, for a few days after, left me in a funk--but what else is new?!?!

Luckily, with Brandt, we have learned to not focus on all the things he should be doing but to appreciate what he can do and how hard he worked to get where he is. We press forward with the hope that he IS learning, just at his own pace. He is my amazing little boy, and I love him for all that he is and does!