Special Needs

So, after months of tip-toeing around, dodging any and all indications, avoiding and ignoring--I finally found myself coming face to face with those damning words: "special needs."

It happened in the most innocent of situations. I was having a conversation with the director of Brandt's daycare. We were casually discussing some of the recent changes in her staff and some of the improvements that we were seeing. She mentioned that Brandt's new teacher had worked there before and was highly experienced with toddlers, as is clearly evident in her classroom instruction. And, then, the director pointed to another teacher, stating she had worked there before too but had to leave to take care of her family. She then proceeded with "she has a special needs child too."

Too--as in also. As in she has a "special needs" child, just like me. Hearing Brandt being associated with those two words left my completely dumbfounded. I mean, I know that Brandt has a profound developmental delay in communication and gross motor skills, but I just never associated him with those words. Yes, Brandt is behind. Yes, he requires extra assistance and understanding. Yes, he receives special support to meet his needs. So, yes, I guess he is special needs.

I am not mad or resentful at the director for stating the otherwise obvious. She and her entire staff have been so accomodating with Brandt, allowing his physical therapist into their facility and providing him extra time to develop before moving him to the toddler room. They have given him extra attention, and he gabbers up a storm when he sees them!

Still, coming face to face with that term was not easy. No parent wants to hear that their child isn't perfect in every way. And, then, that term "special needs" comes with this ugly stigma of people who are less capable and not self-sufficient. And, though I believe that to be completely untrue, part of society has made that a viewpoint. So, I hate to damn my child to such s stigma so early in life.

For all I know, he'll continue therapy and catch up in a couple years. There is nothing found so far that would support Brandt having a diminished learning capacity. So, when I think about a label for Brandt, I purely think of him as "developmentally delayed," not so much as "special needs."

I know people are extra supportive of my journey with Brandt, but sometimes hearing certain words just stings a little. And, no, I'm not going to be "one of those parents" who are so in denial that they aren't able to get their child the support they need. That is not me at all, and I made myself a promise not to ever be in denial with Brandt when our journey first began. Just, every cut (no matter how shallow) will sting a little. But, I'll bandage this one up and move forward a little stronger with my head held high!