Our summer started out without a hitch. We spent our mornings--before the afternoon showers would come--playing in the pool, running through the fountains, and exploring the parks! It was such a blessing--this being the first summer where Brandt has been active and not shuffling from appointment to appointment. We even snuck in a trip to Tampa. We have truly loved every minute of it!
At the start of the summer, Brandt was going to the sitter two days a week, which allowed me to tend to doctor's appointments, grocery shopping, and household chores. That time was so nice. But, it came to a quick end when our sitter's pregnancy caught up to her, and her body was no longer able to meet the demands of a rambunctious two-year-old. We were very sad to lose her, but health and safety must come first.
I started Brandt at a new sitter part time so that he would have a chance to adjust before being thrown in. The first few days were hard--being thrown into an unfamiliar environment with a bunch of strangers is a lot to take in for a little guy. Thankfully, he has since adjusted--making it easier on me, too.
Over the summer, I have been able to attend to Brandt's therapy--both a blessing and a reality check. It is so easy to forget about Brandt's struggles when I don't have to be confronted with them. We have accepted his disposition as "his normal" and don't think about society's normal. I mo longer read milestones, accepting that he is learning and developing at his own pace. But, the therapists have put me back in check--something I know is important as Brandt's best advocate. We continue to work on his balance and coordination in regards to walking, especially on uneven surfaces (grass, sand, inclines, etc). Stairs are quite a challenge, but he thankfully enjoys practicing the stairs at the park! I've asked for direction, and the therapist tells me his problem is neuromuscular. Meaning a neurologist would be my best resource for guidance and diagnosis. I'm not sure that I am mentally ready to go back down that road again, but I also know that it is something that I will need to explore in the near future. As far as communication goes, we are working on using two-word statements. Currently, he only does this 20% of the time, and it is only with the same few phrases. A lot of his "two-word phrases" seem to be slurred together, as if it were only word. But, he keep probing and pushing, always moving forward.
As the summer is coming to an end, we are following up with some of Brandt's doctors. We did a trip the the pulmonologist--who added in a daily antihistamine. We did a day in Miami to visit the ENT--which also meant a fun visit to Miami Seaquarium. Brandt has one tube that is ready to come out (he's had them now for over a year), so the doctor will take it out at our next visit. Brandt has an appointment at his neuro-opthamologist today, a routine physical at the end of the month, and a six month evaluation with Early Steps in September. Then, it is back to Miami in October to pull that ear tube!
So, for now, we prepare to go back to the grind and routine. But, that routine will soon be changing because.... i'm pregnant!
Darrin and I are expecting a little girl, Brooklynn Marie, to be due at the beginning of January. She is due exactly a year after the passing of Darrin's mom. Being the only granddaughter, we know Brooklynn is a gift from above. Her name was a thoughtful decision. "Lynn" being my mother's middle name and Marie being a spin-off to Darrin's mom, Mary.
Of course, given our history, this pregnancy has been a stressful one. I have done lots of extra screenings and tests. Thus far, everything has came back normal. Still, we have a long way to go before I will bring our baby into this world. I pray nightly for her health and safety, and I do everything I can to stay healthy for her. In some ways, I wonder how my HELLP syndrome and emergency induction effected Brandt. I wonder if I should have noticed more fetal movement than I did, if all of my extra committees and after-school activities were too much. So many old emotions and feelings are coming back to me.
The baby's nursery is all set-up, as if I could bring her home today. I think seeing it all put together is a way of coping, of making it all seem real, of saying that eveything is going to be ok. Every little outfit I buy or decoration I add is just my way of coping and reassuring myself. So, I press forward in the only way I know how--retail therapy!
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