It's been a week since Brandt's evaluation with Early Steps, but I haven't had a chance to blog until now..... What can I say, life is hectic and complicated.
In all honesty, the evaluation day was an all-in-all draining day. My father-in-law was having complications with his medical status, and we had just left a police funeral, so I went into the evaluation with less fire and fight than I would typically have.
I still don't much have the energy to go into extensive details of it all, but I will say that Brandt lost some services.
The evaluation was a joke. The family service coordinator and speech therapist came in with a kit to evaluate Brandt, but the kit was new, and they forgot the manuals. So, they were sort of "winging it" based off of what they could remember. It was irritating listening to the two of them guess how each of the tests should be performed. It was even more frustrating for me that their invalid test was determining the future of my son's services.
That being said, Brandt's speech services were cut down from once weekly to now just twice a month--and I had to fight to get that. They wanted to remove speech altogether and reassign him back with an Infant and toddler developmental specialist. I was mad because it seems like we took two steps forward only to take two steps back. It was such a huge fight to get speech, and now they want to take it away. And, the kicker is that they still agree that he has a delay in communication, so their logic in removing that service is pretty darn skewed. They told me in the past that they tend to only fund one service as a primary service provider. So, in reality, it all comes down to state funding and budget cuts.
Luckily, Brandt's physical therapy was not even in question or a topic of discussion. It was just a matter-of-fact. When completing the family service plan, the physical therapist said this service would continue due to many safety concerns. We need more consistency in his walking and a greater sense of balance. Thankfully, his safety concerns saved the day and helped him to continue services with that.
Still, there is a scary reality in that fact--safety concerns. Some days, Brandt is such a mess--tripping and falling every other step. This week has been a rough week for him with that. He has a bruise on one side of his head and a knot on the other. He has a gash under one eye, and he got his first bloody nose this morning. The fact of the matter is that I often fear he is going to have a serious fall that is going to leave him in bad shape. In my mind, it is a very valid and serious concern that I often contemplate. Brandt has no fears and knows no boundaries, and I worry about that--especially with him taking dives off the couch and tripping over his own feet. He is just so dangerous. Definitely, safety concerns.
Today's bloody nose left me in a funk. I wanted so badly to take Brandt home and just hold him, but reality demanded my presence. I wanted a friend to just listen to my frustration, but instead I got a history lesson on nursery rhymes. It I hard being a parent when no one hears or understands my concerns or feelings. Somehow, I just have to find a way to be emotionless and just accept life as it comes, but I so desperately wish for just an ounce more of understanding.
One day, some day, some how...
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